Now I have my own horse I guess I had to hitch up my brave pants and get out riding. I was apprehensive, I am not going to lie and the reason is that a few years ago I got flung off a horse which span me round in to a barbed wire fence which ripped my back fairly bad. It did put me off a bit, but the longing to ride again was there, so before I bought my own I went and had lessons for a year, and also signed up for the Horse and Stable Management Course with the BHS. It was really useful and I learnt and relearnt a lot. With the lessons away from the course I was getting on really well, walk, trot, canter, leg yielding, shoulder in, and we also had been doing some jumping. My confidence was at a good level.
I was starting to get impatient with not having my own horse and had several discussions with my old instructor about was I ready and to be honest I wasn’t, not then. She told me I needed to go and get more experience under my seat riding other horses. So I went out and rode other horses and had a good idea of what I wanted.
My ‘ideal’ horse was 16.2 – 17hh, 8-10 years old, gelding, and I do love a grey! I needed a chunk of a horse as I am 5’10 and not a stick plant, so I was looking for something like an Irish Draught or similar.
Anyhow, so here we are and I have my own, 17hh, aged 6 (now 7), grey Percheron. At first, I admit, I was a bit intimidated by him, purely because of his size and the fact that because he was young and was still a little unaware of his size. He was unbalanced and unfit. The first week he was an angel, and then the second week he thought he would try and get away with bits. Nothing major, but being rude by turning his bum round in my face in the stable and in the paddock.
With the help of my instructor I got my confidence back in to walking in hand with him and getting him to listen, as well as learning to be confident getting on him. Our first ride out together was with a neighbour who brought her horse down. This was the day after we had him and we took him around the village with her horse Reggie. Bart and I did well and he was taking it all in, didn’t spook once, and by the end of it, due to being so unfit, he was hanging! Bless him!! It was brilliant!
I had no problem in tacking him up and going out with another horse, I had no problems with tacking him up and having a lesson. I had a big issue with riding him with no one else around. I think part of me was thinking ‘if I fall off, no one will be here to find me’. The first few weeks made it difficult because not having anyone to ride out with me all the time meant I would talk myself out of riding.
I am very fortunate that I have a school to work in, so if I can’t go out for a hack then we always have the school to work in. There would be days when I would easily talk myself out of riding him on my own, and then there would be days when I gave myself a good talking to and made myself do it.
I needed to get in to a routine, and now the lessons were starting to become regularly it meant I had a definite day and hour that I could focus on.
Fortunately my neighbour, Naomi, has been a star. She used to have horses and has ridden for years. She said that she would be my ‘foot soldier’. It meant that although we weren’t going out with another horse, I had someone on the ground that I could talk to so I didn’t think about all the bad stuff that could happen. Initially I would ride Bart in the school for 10 minutes to see what he was like before hacking out, but to be fair he is so laid back he is more likely to stop than take off, so in the end we just went straight out.
If you can do it I would suggest that you have some kind of routine. Not down to the hour and minute, but horses do like routine, and it gives you an incentive to go out and ride too. I have now started getting more in to it. Each horse is different and everyones schedules are different. I don’t work now due to my ill health, so I am flexible, but I know others who can only ride during the week in the evenings and at the weekends.
I needed to work out a plan for Bart as he was unfit and clearly hadn’t been doing much. I decided that we would have a lesson a week, have 1-2 schooling sessions a week, either ridden or lunging, and a hack a week. So it would be something like:
- Monday – Hack for 45 minutes
- Tuesday – Lesson 45mins- 1hr
- Wednesday – Rest Day
- Thursday – School session
- Friday – Rest Day
- Saturday – School session
- Sunday – Rest Day.
My schooling sessions would be 30-60 minutes depending on how we both feel. I would mix it up so one session would be lunging him, and walking him in hand, and when I was riding him I would do a lot of walk and trot and working on transitions, balance and circles etc. He is still young and can be unbalanced. I think the more you can keep them ‘on their toes’ and not do the same boring things over and over it keeps their brains concentrating on what you are doing together. Horses think about things after they have been done, so I guess they think in ‘hindsight’, so although you don’t think they are taking it in, they will, and they have a good think about it after. You might need the saddler out again when you start working them, just keep an eye on how it’s fitting and whether it’s changing.
Their feed may need tweaking if you are working them quite hard. It depends on what you have bought them for to do. For now Bart and I are happy hacking, schooling and learning. Next year I would like to be doing more with him, a bit of jumping, dressage or even a bit of XC but we are in no hurry – we are learning together which is the idea.
There is no shame in not wanting to hack out on your own, hacking can be one of the most dangerous things, especially if you are out on your own. I know it’s not the ‘cool’ thing, but if you are hacking out on the roads please wear hi – viz. I get laughed at by my other half as he says I glow for miles, but with the narrow lanes around here, I would rather glow like a lighthouse than not be seen until the last minute. I have a hi viz saddle cloth, jacket, and also have leg wraps for Bart too.
If you do hack out on your own then a good idea is to let someone know when you leave, where you are going and text them when you are back. (Sounds like going out for a blind date!!).
If there isn’t a bridle path near you but you have fields, then it could be worth asking the farmer if you could ride on their land. Obviously you don’t want to do it at certain times of the year, but there may be a ‘window’ that they might let you. Mine lets me after combining and before drilling the field for next year, but if its really wet then I won’t go on there as I don’t want to churn up his field or lose a shoe!
So that’s the brave pants bit – you just need to hitch them up sometimes, and the more you do it the more confident you will get. You have to remember that horses pick up your ‘vibe’ so if you are nervous and anxious they will pick up on it. They are looking at you for giving them confidence and they are putting their trust in you to look after them.
The bossy bra bit is to be making sure that, although you are working in partnership with each other, that you are the ‘leader’. It is a partnership, and it is 50/50, but you are the boss. You do not want your horse to be dictating to you what you are both doing, both on the ground and riding. I started off by being a bit of a ‘mother’ with Bart, talking to him and fussing round him, telling him how good he was all the time, trying to hug him, blah blah blah…. however I found that he didn’t really understand that kind of thing. I am not saying don’t hug your horse, I still do sometimes, but when I am telling him to do/not do something I have learnt to be more ‘definite’. They are very black and white.
You have to be more ‘business like’ and tell them exactly how it’s going to be. The more you do this the more they understand. Everything you do has to be done with purpose, tell them not ask them. The tone of your voice makes a big difference too. You will find that if you are forthright, directional and don’t nag they will be more willing and understand what you want them to do.
I hope Brave pant and the Bossy bra blog has been helpful – it takes time to get to know each other, there has to be consistency, and routine, but it can be flexible as it has to fit around you. Deep breaths and hitch them up.
Oh and before I forget – there are some lovely people in the same boat as you out there. I have met some lovely people on a Facebook page called ‘Confident Riders’. They are a great bunch and if you are having a good or bad day they will be there to support you. (<3)